Grateful for...rejection?

I've written a bit about rejection before. To put it ineloquently: it sucks.

Almost all writers experience rejection at some point. And for many of us, we experience it multiple times.

However, I've (sort of) tried to reframe how I think about it. You see, two years ago, I was accepted to the Kenyon Writers Workshop. That name may not mean anything to people outside of my industry, but in the writing world, it carries weight. I had been rejected from Kenyon twice and waitlisted another time before I got in in 2023. I spent a week on Kenyon's campus in Ohio and the time there was generative and beautiful. I clicked with my cohort in a way I have never clicked with another group in my life; I made friendships there that remain today and that I believe will remain for years to come. We still talk often and have a group chat. We meet virtually sometimes. We meet in person whenever any of us is traveling to or even vaguely near the other one's city (or if we're attending the same conference). My workshop leader was brilliant. Likewise with the other faculty. The nightly readings were inspiring. I ran into someone from a fellowship I'd done a year prior. Even the food was great (thank you to the cafeteria staff and to whoever catered the luncheon on the last day).

I say all this to say: If I hadn't been rejected from Kenyon prior, I would not have met that group and had that teacher (they change instructors each summer) and written that particular creative nonfiction piece in class (that drew praise from the audience and was later published) and met those other faculty in poetry and fiction and I wouldn't have known about this book and that book or learned what I learned. I might have missed out on the best black bean burger I've ever tasted (and one of the top 5 burgers of my life period, meat or otherwise)! Burger jokes aside, that experience made me feel grateful for the previous 'NO' I also got to stay with my in-laws for a couple days and we bonded and I went with my aunt-in-law to see the Columbus Gay Men's Choir perform and I reconnected with someone from my hometown (who moved to Columbus and is part of said choir). At the risk of causing an eyeroll from anyone reading this, I'll say that it felt like destiny. Fate, whatever. There have been other things I've been accepted to that I didn't get on the first try, and these things worked out too.

Being rejected still feels...ugh. But ever since Kenyon, my mindset has shifted. Those things that I'm still hoping for that I've been rejected from more than once? (Hedgebrook Residency, PEN America Emerging Voices Fellowship, Sundance Festival Editor). Maybe it's just not the right time for me yet. (Or, maybe I suck.) But I'll keep trying.

I've been rejected from PEN America not once, not twice, but THRICE already. I'm hoping I'll get it in 2026, which will be my fourth attempt (I also seize any opportunity to use the archaic term 'thrice' because I love it so).