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  • Writer's pictureDanielle Hayden

Feels a Little Like Spying

I get and give a lot of free stuff through my local online giving groups. Someone was giving away some watercolor paints and blank greeting cards along with a bag of other stuff (she said please take all) so I arranged a pick up. I was delighted to find a few notebooks in the bag. One of them, however, had some writing still left on a few pages. I didn't read all of it; it felt wrong to be privy to this text that was never meant for my eyes. It wasn't a diary/journal, but still.

The first page contained wedding vow brainstorming ideas. I saw phrases like "see things from your perspective," "no hesitation, no doubt," "commitment=absolute," "make me feel more myself than I've ever been," "you've broken all my expectations", and "I believe in you, the person who you are now, and who you will grow to be." There were others, but those stood out.

I always said if I ever got married again, I'd write my own wedding vows next time. I think it's beautiful and romantic (though admittedly seems like something that would stress me out).

photo credit: Emma Garcia

I wanted to keep reading, to to read the other couple pages that weren't blank, to learn about their five-year plan, their healthy living and eating goals, but I didn't other than the headings. I already felt bad reading the things that I did.

It makes me think though of who will read my notebooks once I am dead. It is something that will be written in my will for sure. I think I will let only my daughter read my diaries/journals. Not sure about my notebooks in general; I have plenty of those too.

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